Resistance is Futile

The call of a change agent

(Part 1 of 6)

“My name is Melissa Kalt.  I am a change agent.  I’m here to change the world.”

Inspiring, or famous last words?  I once wasn’t quite so sure.

From the time I was a little girl, I felt like I was here to change the world.  My entire life I spent looking for how exactly I’d do that.  At the age of 9, I envisioned turning my dad’s office building into a homeless shelter.  Later my goal was to help those in impoverished countries.  More recently, it was through providing outstanding medical care as a doctor.  Yet, I continued to feel that tug, that pull, that calling.  I continued to search.

Years ago, I was dealing with a very challenging time in my personal life.  Time and again, I was presented with the opportunity to take a stand for myself and for what was right and true.  That was really hard!  Ok, that was really, really hard!  Standing firmly in my resolve not to participate in dysfunctional patterns was not well received.  It did not matter that my intentions were pure.  It did not matter that I was simply choosing how I was going to behave, without making any comments about how others chose to behave.  It did not matter that I was creating a better future for myself and my relationships.  People did not respond kindly.

It was then that a trusted professional said those words, “You are a change agent.”  She went on to explain that by changing myself and how I choose to respond, I change others.  And the truth is, people find change to be uncomfortable.  They don’t like it.  They scream and clutch to their old ways of being, whether those ways are working or not.  This was exactly what I was experiencing.

You’d think those words would have been empowering, but they hit me in the chest like a ton of bricks.  I didn’t want to be a change agent.  I wanted to have easy, fun relationships with family, friends, and co-workers.  I wanted to change the world…out there on the horizon, not close to home.

The trouble was, the thing I longed for most was deep, meaningful, loving relationships.

  • It lacked authenticity to participate in gossip.
  • It lacked authenticity to agree to do things I didn’t want to do and then internally be irritable.
  • It lacked authenticity to hide my feelings, for fear of making another feel badly.
  • It lacked authenticity to keep quiet (a sign of agreement), rather than to speak my truth. For example, a friend was offered an amazing job opportunity, but was reluctant to take it because it would involve learning new things, falling outside the comfort zone.  A traditional “friend” might agree with taking the comfortable route.  A change agent or soul partner might say, “I’m confident that you’ll choose whichever is best for you.  I have to wonder, though, if your fear of not being enough is active?”

Resisting being a change agent, was resisting being myself.  The resistance lacked authenticity.  It was contrary to the truth of who I am.  Fighting against myself is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Resistance is futile.  In the end, you become a butterfly.

I now love being a change agent!!  The very thing that made it easier was finding my tribe, a tribe of people committed to creating impact and change in the world, who share the same struggles.

I’m creating a global tribe of change agents to offer you the same support.  Are you with me?  Do you feel that call?  Are you resisting?  What’s your biggest struggle in stepping forward?

Growth comes through engagement.  Reach out.  I’m listening.